Re: (IGNORE THIS MESSAGE - or suffer the consequnces)

["Captain Warwick J. Somerville" <marivcru@labyrinth.net.au>]

Dear Subscriber,

Welcome to REITHcard, an exciting new development in telecommunications,
which we are proud to pioneer in co-operation with our venture partners who
have joined us in the vanguard of community service throughout the world.
REITHcard (Responsibility Excused In The House) is an unprecedented offer
guaranteed to keep you in touch with loved ones, friends and business
colleagues at any time NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE.  But the best feature of
REITHcard is the ENORMOUS SAVINGS it offers subscribers. So, be sure to take
out your REITHcard opportunity NOW!
Here's how it works:
With your enclosed REITHcard we have allotted you a special four-digit PTPT
(Pity The Poor Taxpayer) number. By dialling this PTPT number as a prefix to
any number you wish to dial throughout the world, you can talk as long and
as often as you like and the cost of the call goes on to a special CFPM
(Contempt For Public Money) account.
And this is how you save:
*Say, for instance, you have called a few mates and asked them, just for a
lark, to pick up their axe-handles, put on balaclavas and take their
Rottweilers down to the local docks for a late-night walk. Or say you are in
trouble and you have to call on the Minister for Schadenfreude, Mr Peter
Smugmug, to help dig you out of it with a ringing declaration of sincere
support in Parliament. Or perhaps, as a public-spirited citizen, you have
telephoned a number of anonymous reports to CentreFink to finger your
neighbours as dole bludgers who are rorting the Commonwealth with false
claims.
We make it easy. You just put all these calls on your REITHcard and simply
forget about them. And when the time comes to pay the bill, the good old
taxpayer pays it for you.  But better than that, you can pass your PTPT
number to your family or even your friends with the balaclavas and
axe-handles and they, too, can make calls and have them billed to your CFPM
account. You just pay 2 per cent of the bill!  The  rest? Just forget it.
*    This offer is limited and conditions apply. Only those whose lives
are governed by the Prime Minister's parliamentary Code of Practice will be
considered. Those who apply within 10 days will also receive, AT NO EXTRA
COST, a copy of one of the following current best-sellers: "Honest, Guv, I
Can't Remember", a backbencher's memoirs, "Don't Blame Me, Dad Just Can't
Help It" by Sophie Gosper and "Altruism in Public Service" by Mal Colston.

-- 
Regards
Capt. W. J. Somerville

Website Address    http://www.blackbirdcruises.com.au/
Telephone   +61 3 9689 6431
Fax   +61 3 9687 3175