Re: for anyone who appreciates Gilbert and Sullivan

["Dave Proctor" <david@sd3.mailbank.com>]

"Eddie Oliver" <eoliver@efs.mq.edu.au> wrote in message
3AEFCD00.50E014B5@efs.mq.edu.au">news:3AEFCD00.50E014B5@efs.mq.edu.au...

You forgot to mention it is sung to the tune of "Modern Major-General".

:-P

> I am the very model of a Newsgroup Personality
> I intersperse obscenity with tedious banality.
> Addresses I have plenty of, both genuine and ghosted to,
> On all the countless newsgroups that my drivel is cross-posted to.
>
> Your bandwidth I will fritter with my whining and my snivelling,
> And you're the one who pays the bill downloading all my drivelling.
> My enemies are numerous, and no one would be blaming you
> For cracking my head open after I've been rudely flaming you.
>
> I hate to lose an argument (by now I should be used to it).
> I wouldn't know a valid point if I was introduced to it.
> My learning is extensive but consists of mindless trivia,
> Designed to fan my ego, which is larger than Bolivia.
>
> The comments that I vomit forth, disguised as jest and drollery,
> Are really just an exercise in unremitting trollery.
> I say I'm frank and forthright, but that's merely lies and vanity,
> The gibberings of one who's at the limit of his sanity.
>
> If only I could get a life, as many people tell me to;
> If only mum could find a circus freak-show she could sell me to;
> If I go off to Zanzibar to paint the local scenery;
> If I lose all my fingers in a mishap with machinery;
>
> If I survive to forty, which is somewhat problematical;
> If what I post was more mature, or slightly more grammatical;
> If I could learn to spell a bit, and maybe even punctuate;
> Would I still be the loathsome and objectionable punk you hate?
>
> But while I have this tiresome urge to prance around and show my face,
> It's simply isn't safe for normal people here in cyberspace.
> To stick me in Old Sparky and turn on the electricity
> Would be a fitting punishment for my egocentricity.
>
> I always have the last word; so, with utmost finality,
> That's all from me, the model of a Newsgroup Personality.
>