Re: Tall tales (and true)

["Derick Wuen" <cullend@webone.com.au>]

Paul wrote in message <01bf918f$47c050c0$d2d68ec6@mpx.mpx.com.au>...
>Anybody got any good "tall stories".

<snip>

During the Great Depression of the 30's work gangs were formed to construct
the Maryvale-Sandy Hollow line. This line was not actually finished until
the 1970's. However, in the 1930's a work gang consisted of 13 members, 12
of whom had to navigate, whilst one was the designated cook.

My ol' grandad was newly recruited into such a gang, and at the first meal,
the member allocated the cook's job slapped an unappetising meal in front of
him.

What sort of s**t  is this after a hard day's work on the mad mick and
banjo? said ol' grandad. That's it said the cook, ripping off his soiled
apron and sweat-stained cap, and threw them at him.

Guess you're now the cook said the ganger to grandad, and then explained
that the contractor never allocated the cook's duty to anyone, preferring to
let each gang self-select on whatever selection criteria suited them.
Usually gangs did it on the basis that those who complained should fix the
problem.

So next day, ol' grandad was sweating away in the cookhouse whilst the
others were out swinging the mad mick and banjo. How to retrieve this no-win
situation occupied grandad's mind. Then he had a bright idea. The rough
range country they were navigating through was infested by kangaroos, not
being useful for anything else much. There was a lot of kangaroo s**t around
in the form of blobs a bit bigger than sheep's, and ranging from very dry
and flaky to fecund.

He gathered up a significant mound of steaming, smelly harvest. Then he
rolled out a sheet of short-crust pastry and formed a great pie-shell,
filled it with his, errr, filling, rolled a shortcrust lid, placed it over
the pie, sealing  the edges with decorative little scallops and fork marks.
This was put in an oven and baked with care and affection. Of course ol'
grandad hoped that someone in the gang would complain, and he could hand on
the thankless job of cook.

First off the afternoon shift into the mess tent was a HUGE Thursday
Islander with a barrel chest, bulging biceps, size 15 feet and thighs like
tree-trunks. Omigod I'm hungry, he said, what a hard day's work, what's for
dinner? Grandad served him up a generous portion of the pie, which by now
was highly aromatic and steamy. The TI man looked dubious but took a
tentative bight......

HEY , he yelled, THATS KANGAROO TURD PIE!

Then he added quickly.....

Its good though.