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[Fwd: Conductor]

> Subject: 
>                              Conductor
>                   Date: 
>                              Fri, 27 Aug 1999 11:21:45 GMT
>                 From: 
>                              11458158@pager.icq.com
>   Organization: 
>                              Labyrinth Connections Pty Ltd
>   Newsgroups: 
>                              labyrinth.jokes
> 
> 
> 
> 
> A little old lady is on a bus, buying a ticket from
> the bus conductor,
> fumbling in a voluminous bag for the correct
> change. After 15 minutes the
> conductor becomes so enraged that he hits her on
> the head with the
> ticket-dispenser, and the poor old dear dies
> instantly.
> Not surprisingly, he is convicted and put on death
> row. Just before he is to
> be electrocuted, his last request is for 12 pounds
> of bananas, which he
> devours.
> They strap him into the chair, flip the switch, and
> he just sits there,
> smiling. According to tradition, this is considered
> a reprieve from God and he is freed.
> Somehow he gets his old job back, and he is happily
> dispensing tickets when
> he sees a girl stick her gum on the back of a seat
> on the bus. Enraged, he
> lunges out with the ticket dispenser, breaking the
> offender's neck and
> killing her.
> Again, he is convicted and sent to death row. He
> again eats the 12 pounds of
> bananas, and lo and behold, the electricity does
> not harm him.
> This time the executioner cleans the contacts,
> makes him sit in a bucket of
> water, he tries everything - but still the guy
> won't die. So again, he is
> set free.
> Amazingly he regains his job. It takes him 1 day to
> lose his temper and
> beat
> to death a young boy who starts to chew his bus
> ticket.
> He returns to death row, eats the bananas, and survives the
> electrocution.
> At this point, the executioner can take no more -
> his professional pride
> has been hurt.
> Before setting our friend free again, he asks him
> "Oh, the bananas have nothing to do with it",
> replies our friend.
> "I'm just a bad conductor."
> 
>

A little old lady is on a bus, buying a ticket from
the bus conductor,
fumbling in a voluminous bag for the correct
change. After 15 minutes the
conductor becomes so enraged that he hits her on
the head with the
ticket-dispenser, and the poor old dear dies
instantly.
Not surprisingly, he is convicted and put on death
row. Just before he is to
be electrocuted, his last request is for 12 pounds
of bananas, which he
devours.
They strap him into the chair, flip the switch, and
he just sits there,
smiling. According to tradition, this is considered
a reprieve from God and he is freed.
Somehow he gets his old job back, and he is happily
dispensing tickets when
he sees a girl stick her gum on the back of a seat
on the bus. Enraged, he
lunges out with the ticket dispenser, breaking the
offender's neck and
killing her.
Again, he is convicted and sent to death row. He
again eats the 12 pounds of
bananas, and lo and behold, the electricity does
not harm him.
This time the executioner cleans the contacts,
makes him sit in a bucket of
water, he tries everything - but still the guy
won't die. So again, he is
set free.
Amazingly he regains his job. It takes him 1 day to
lose his temper and
beat
to death a young boy who starts to chew his bus
ticket.
He returns to death row, eats the bananas, and survives the
electrocution.
At this point, the executioner can take no more -
his professional pride
has been hurt.
Before setting our friend free again, he asks him
"Oh, the bananas have nothing to do with it",
replies our friend.
"I'm just a bad conductor."