Re: [Fwd: Train Anouncements]

["Alex Pout" <alpout@optusnet.com.au>]

Reminds me of a time about 10 years ago when I was catching a train from
Fassifern to Sydney.  A lengthy pause at Gosford, followed by the following
on the P.A.:

    Driver: Yes Guard?

    [Silence for a minute]

    Driver: Sorry about that.

    [Silence for a minute]

    Driver: Cause I had to go to the toilet.

Who says train drivers aren't human after all??



Anita Lukaszyk <neety@iprimus.com.au> wrote in message
39E6FEB1.5BF140BA@iprimus.com.au">news:39E6FEB1.5BF140BA@iprimus.com.au...
> Platform 15 for the City Circle? Hmmmmm.
>
> Michael Watson wrote:
> >
> > The joys of using The Olympic Cities trains...
> >
> > The following announcements were all heard and reported by visitors to
> > the "State transit authority" website.
> >
> > Heard at Central Station: "The train at platform sixteen is not going to
> > North Sydney but to Circular Quay. The train approaching platform
fifteen is
> > alson ot going to North Sydney, its going to City Circle. These trains
are
> > not going to North Sydney despite what the signal men think."
> >
> > On Redfern Station: "Beggars are operating on this train, please do NOT
> > encourage these professional beggars, if you have any spare change,
> > please give it to a registered charity, failing that, give it to me."
> >
> > On Town Hall Station: "To the gentleman wearing the long grey coat
> > trying to get on the second carriage, what part of 'stand clear of the
> > doors' don't you understand?"
> >
> > At Wynyard station (where a train was stationary despite a green
> > light):"Sorry for the delay ladies and gentlemen but there is a queue of
> > trains ahead of us so I have decided to wait here, because I'm sure you
> > don't want to sit in a tunnel getting hot and sweaty"
> >
> > Central again: "Next time, you might find it easier to wait until the
> > doors are open  before trying to get on the train"
> >
> > At King'sC ross: "This train is completely broken, it isn't going
> > a nywhere"
> >
> > On the Merrylands line: "This is Granville, err, no, it's Merrylands!"
> >
> > At Town Hall station (on a crowded Friday afternoon): 'Please let the
> > passengers off the train first... Please let the passengers off the
> > train first... Please let the passengers off the train first... Let the
> > passengers off the train FIRST!... Oh go on then, stuff yourselves in
> > like sardines, see if I care, I'm going home.'
> >
> > On the Illawarra line  (after a 20-minute delay): "I apologise for the
> > delay but thec omputer controlling the signalling at Sutherland and
> > Hurstville has the Monday Morning Blues"
> >
> > At Kogarah: "We can't move off because some idiot has their hand stuck
in
> > the door"
> >
> > At Campbelltown: "Hello this is xxx speaking, I am the captain of your
> > train, and we will be departings hortly, we will be cruising at an
altitude
> > of approximately zero feet, and our scheduled arrival time in
> > Central is 3:15pm. The temperature in Central is approximately 15
degrees
> > celsius, and Central is in the same time zone as Campbelltown , so
there's
> > no  need to adjust your watches."
> >
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> --
> Anita Lukaszyk
> neety@iprimus.com.au
> http://www.ozemail.com.au/~neety