[Fwd: Train Anouncements]

[Anita Lukaszyk <neety@iprimus.com.au>]

Platform 15 for North Sydney???

> The joys of using The Olympic Cities trains...
> 
> The following announcements were all heard and reported by visitors to
> the "State Transit Authority" website.
> 
> Heard at Central Station: "The train at platform sixteen is not going to
> North Sydney but to Circular Quay. The train approaching platform fifteen is
> also not going to North Sydney, its going to City Circle. These trains are
> not going to North Sydney despite what the signal men think."
> 
> On Redfern Station: "Beggars are operating on this train, please do NOT
> encourage these professional beggars, if you have any spare change,
> please give it to a registered charity, failing that, give it to me."
> 
> On Town Hall Station: "To the gentleman wearing the long grey coat
> trying to get on the second carriage, what part of 'stand clear of the
> doors' don't you understand?"
> 
> At Wynyard station (where a train was stationary despite a green
> light):"Sorry for the delay ladies and gentlemen but there is a queue of
> trains ahead of us so I have decided to wait here, because I'm sure you
> don't want to sit in a tunnel getting hot and sweaty"
> 
> Central again: "Next time, you might find it easier to wait until the
> doors are open  before trying to get on the train"
> 
> At King's Cross: "This train is completely broken, it isn't going
> a nywhere"
> 
> On the Merrylands line: "This is Granville, err, no, it's Merrylands!"
> 
> At Town Hall station (on a crowded Friday afternoon): 'Please let the
> passengers off the train first... Please let the passengers off the
> train first... Please let the passengers off the train first... Let the
> passengers off the train FIRST!... Oh go on then, stuff yourselves in
> like sardines, see if I care, I'm going home.'
> 
> On the Illawarra line  (after a 20-minute delay): "I apologise for the
> delay but the computer controlling the signalling at Sutherland and
> Hurstville has the Monday Morning Blues"
> 
> At Kogarah: "We can't move off because some idiot has their hand stuck in
> the door"
> 
> At Campbelltown: "Hello this is xxx speaking, I am the captain of your
> train, and we will be departing shortly, we will be cruising at an altitude
> of approximately zero feet, and our scheduled arrival time in
> Central is 3:15pm. The temperature in Central is approximately 15 degrees
> celsius, and Central is in the same time zone as Campbelltown , so there's
> no need to adjust your watches."


-- 
Anita Lukaszyk
neety@iprimus.com.au
http://www.ozemail.com.au/~neety