Twas The Night Before Y2K (Was: Re: Armaggedon)

[Roads to the Future <kozelsm@richmond.infi.net>]

David McLoughlin <davemcl@AXE*THISiprolink.co.nz> wrote:
> 
> Just to let you all know as promised;
> 
> We have just had Y2K here
> 
> And NOTHING happened
> 
> except the nothing that was predicted.
> 
> There is no Armageddon tonight.
> 
> Let's all hope those Russian nukes don't launch tomorrow.

OK, please take this "humorous" poem in the spirit of the season!  I'm
on the Y2K mainframe team at work, and this was circulated a couple
weeks ago.  Enjoy!

             Twas The Night Before Y2K

Twas the night before Y2K,
>>    And all through the nation
>>    We awaited The Bug,
>>    The Millennium sensation.
>>
>>    The chips were replaced
>>    In computers with care,
>>    In hopes that ol' Bugsy
>>    Wouldn't stop there.
>>
>>    While some folks could think
>>    They were snug in their beds,
>>    Others had visions
>>    Of dread in their heads.
>>
>>    And Ma with her PC,
>>    And I with my Mac,
>>    Had just logged on the Net
>>    And kicked back with a snack.
>>
>>    When over the server,
>>    There arose such a clatter,
>>    I called Mister Gates
>>    To see what was the matter.
>>
>>    But he was away,
>>    So I flew like a flash
>>    Off to my bank
>>    To withdraw all my cash.
>>
>>    When what with my wandering eyes
>>    Should I see?
>>    My good old Mac
>>    Looked sick to me.
>>
>>    The hack of all hackers
>>    Was looking so smug,
>>    I knew that it must be
>>    The Y2K Bug!
>>
>>    His image downloaded
>>    In no time at all,
>>    He whistled and shouted,
>>    Let all systems fall!
>>
>>    Go Intel! Go Gateway!
>>    Now HP! Big Blue!
>>    Everything Compaq,
>>    And Pentium too!
>>
>>    All processors big,
>>    All processors small,
>>    Crash away! Crash away!
>>    Crash away all!
>>
>>    All the controls
>>    That planes need for their flights,
>>    All microwaves, trains
>>    And all traffic lights.
>>
>>    As I drew in my breath
>>    And was turning around,
>>    Out through the modem,
>>    He came with a bound.
>>
>>    He was covered with fur,
>>    And slung on his back
>>    Was a sackful of virus,
>>    Set for attack.
>>
>>    His eyes--how they twinkled!
>>    His dimples--how merry!
>>    As midnight approached, though,
>>    Things soon became scary.
>>
>>    He had a broad little face
>>    And a round little belly,
>>    And his sack filled with virus
>>    Quivered like jelly.
>>
>>    He was chubby and plump,
>>    Perpetually grinning,
>>    And I laughed when I saw him
>>    Though my hard drive stopped spinning.
>>
>>    A wink of his eye,
>>    And a twist of his head,
>>    Soon gave me to know
>>    A new feeling of dread.
>>
>>    He spoke not a word,
>>    But went straight to his work,
>>    He changed all the clocks,
>>    Then turned with a jerk.
>>
>>    With a twitch of his nose,
>>    And a quick little wink,
>>    All things electronic
>>    Soon went on the blink.
>>
>>    He zoomed from my system,
>>    To the next folks on line,
>>    He caused such a disruption,
>>    Could this be a sign?
>>
>>    Then I heard him exclaim,
>>    With a loud, hearty cry,
>>    Happy Y2K to all,
>>    Kiss your PCs good-bye!